Yesterday's orgasm count: three, self-inflicted.
Today, in the name of science, I called one of the local places seeking human guinea pigs.
Me: Hello, my name is Queenie. I was wondering whether you have any studies at the moment requiring a young healthy female with no surgical oddities.
Phonegirl: (laughs) Yes, I think we do. One second... how about testing a cervical cancer vaccine?
Me: Sure, why not. Come to think of it, I must be due for a pap smear!
Phonegirl: Alright, let me take you through the questionnaire.
Me: Okay, cool. Ah, a chance to show off with my good habits and even better health.
Phonegirl: Now, some of these questions are personal.
Me: That's fine. Oh, she's about to ask me about my sex life.
Phonegirl: How many sexual partners have you had?
Me: (gives answer... no, I'm not telling you. ;-)) One double take coming up...
Phonegirl: Oh. Well, that knocks you out of that one.
Me: Really? Damn. I wonder if I can take it back.
Phonegirl: Yeah, for this particular study, we can't accept people who have had more than four sex partners.
Me: Wow. Nope. Shit, good luck finding participants.
Phonegirl: (laughs) Yeah, it's pretty hard to find young women in their twenties who match that criteria.
Me: I can imagine! Damn, that really would be hard!
Phonegirl: So anyway, there's another study on...
The rest is irrelevant. But I couldn't help but chuckle at having basically been told that I'm too much of a slut. And it's not the first time, let me assure you. The bloodbank will not accept my blood, mostly because it's rare for me to go a whole three months without acquiring a new sex partner. Also, apparently there is some weird objection to having someone ejaculating in your mouth, even if the ejaculator is definitely approved to be clean. Something to do with the squirting of the cum, and possible mucus membrane damage. No, I don't get it either. I wonder if it's wordlwide, or just regional.
Oh well. I'm not a big fan of huge needles, anyway.
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