Musings on the good, the bad, and the fucking gorgeous.

Yesterday's orgasm count: six. All self-inflicted, none of them really that spectacular.

Today, after having rented two DVDs to watch, I found myself looking at some of the pictures of Brad Pitt in Fight Club. And while I'm not really a fan of Brad Pitt, I do have to admit that Tyler Durden is a sexy bitch. Why? Because he's a dirty, nasty bastard. He is the classic "bad boy" who manages to be so god damn appealing.

That got me thinking about how a lot of women complain about the fact that they attract arseholes, and they can never seem to find a nice guy. I can't help but chuckle at that, because really, I am increasingly coming to believe that women are in fact more attracted to the so-called "arseholes". In fact, as Neil Strauss, author of The Game: Penetrating the Secret society of Pick-Up Artists would probably also point out, in order for a woman to pay any attention to him, many a nice guy would have to emulate the behaviour of the aforementioned "arseholes".

I, however, have found the exact opposite happening to me. More often than not, I seem to end up with the nice guys, those sweet, caring, and all-round wonderful people. Apparently, I'm a little differently wired. I know I have lusted after the occasional bad boy, but it's the nice guy I end up in the sack with, more often than not. Not that I'm complaining, but I can't help wondering why that is. I have a few theories, of course. Having gone through a period of mistrusting boys to the point of not letting them within an 18-inch radius of me, perhaps the bad boys have been permanently ruined for me. It was the good guys I learned to trust enough to let them touch me at all, so I guess it's them I learned to be attracted to.

That, and I don't really have the attention span to stress about the bad boys' horrible deeds, or the fact that they never call or whisper sweet romantic fluff in our ears, and generally don't seem to give a flying fuck about us. Women are generally hard-wired to seek approval, whether it be from men or otherwise. And I'm not saying that I'm not, because to a certain extent, I am. I am still a woman, after all.
But I guess I have learned to "override" that instinct, to a certain extent. Sure, I catch myself at it, but then I get bored with it, and move on to something else within a day or two, instead of angsting all week. And, if the Peases' questionnaire determining how typically male or female you are is to be trusted,
I'm pretty damn close to being a man in my mind, so perhaps I seek approval a little less. I suppose higher testosterone levels would also explain this fixation with sex.

I really shouldn't complain, because nice boys are, well, nice. They do all those nice things, like cuddling you after sex, and treating you the way I assume girls generally like to be treated. They're good to you, and unlikely to toy with your emotions.

But.

There's always a "but", isn't there? The thing is, only few of these "nice guys" (in my experience at least), will "do the nasty" or get "down and dirty" with you, as opposed to the kind of sex that often comes frighteningly close to "making love". Nothing against "making love" -- I know I love it. I can't even articulate how wonderful, how beautiful, how bloody mind-blowing it is to make love to someone you are head over heels in love with. That being said though, there is a time and place for everything. And sometimes, even us girls (well, okay, I'm speaking for myself here) like it nasty. I have recently been indulging quite a bit in a little fantasy of mine, in which one of my casual nice guys stops to kiss me in a dark corner at a pub, slides his hands up my skirt, pulls my g-string aside, unzips his fly, and lifts me onto his cock, fucking me against a wall. Typing this up was enough to make my pussy throb, actually.

But who am I kidding? The chances of this particular young man doing something that risquee are slim to none.

I'm not saying that all nice guys are straight-laced though; hell no. I actually suspect that a whole lot of them are much dirtier than they'll admit. But in my experience, most of the nice guys I have ended up with have not acted on their desires, which I think is a crying shame. It makes me all the more grateful though that my beloved is pretty damn adventurous, and not afraid to get dirty.

But I suspect that this whole thing with being nice and not acting on your desires is basically because the Nice Guy doesn't want to upset the women around him. In other words, he seeks approval from females, just like a woman would. Meanwhile, the bad boy is more likely to take risks, disregard other people's feelings, and ends up getting more variety, albeit probably not a whole lot in terms of long term relationships, which is what the nice guy gets.

It does make evolutionary sense, of course. The nice guy provides the stability for the girl, who procreates with the bad boy, and thus the bad boy's offspring is in fact raised by the nice guy, alongside the nice guy's own offspring. It works, even if it doesn't seem fair. Though I can't quite help but wonder how the nice girls/bad girls fit into this equation. Whom do they end up with? Whose offspring would they bear, if it weren't for birth control? From what I understand, it is the nice girl who gets pursued by the bad boy. Or rather, she seeks approval from the bad boy, and thus ends up with him in her pants, because of her attempts to get him to "settle down". I however, when faced with a situation when a girl would seek approval, just shrug and go back to talking to the nice guy. I suppose there is also this whole business with beinbg a "challenge" to bed, which I'm not. If I want someone, I fuck them, if I don't, I don't. I don't really have that middle-ground of needing to be wheedled and cajoled and enticed into the sack. I have had a few nice guys comment on my apparent lack of "restraint".

Well, at this point, I'm entering sort of fuzzy territory, and trailing off abit, so I'll leave it at that. I was also going to rave on about a fucking gorgeous redhead I saw on the bus today, but I've been blogging for almost two hours now, so I'll leave that for later.