So much for the premenstrual horn.

Orgasm count: four. Self-inflicted, one yesterday, three the day before.

Now for more important things:

Dear uterus,

Why do you hate me so? Why do you cause me such pain? Why did you start giving me cramps after five blissful cramp-free years of menstruation? Are you laughing at me? Have I ever done you wrong? I'd really like to know, because I want our relationship to be loving and productive. Have you truly not forgiven me for cramming you with hormones? I said I'm sorry!

Love,

Queenie

Yes, I started my period yesterday, and found myself cramping unusually painfully. Enough to make me wince and groan and whimper. I would really love to have those days back when I had no concept of these mysterious menstrual cramps. But sometimes I suspect that my body is just a late bloomer, and I have somehow reached a new level of physical maturity. Let me tell you this: it sucks. God dammit, I want my fucking teenage body back! ::sniffles::

Alright, enough whingeing. I spent some of last night having dinner with, and resisting the sexual advances of an amorous Indian. He's a very nice fellow, excellent company, but I'm just not terribly interested in him, sexually. I can completely understand how this man can generally charm himself into many a pair of knickers, but I suspect that I'm just too much of a vain cow to ignore the fact that he's half a head shorter than me, and next to my Amazonian physique, he looks like he's made of toothpicks. I also find that men who are extremely different from my beloved tend to turn me off a little. I suppose that is somewhat disturbing, but nonetheless true. Some months ago, I dallied with a gentleman who was of average and rather hairy physique and had a shaven head. I found myself a bit irked by this, and passionately wanting my beloved's smooth wiry body and wild bush of hair back. This was obviously not this fellow's fault, and for what it's worth, he was very accomplished in the sack, but it was still enough for me not to seek him out again.

I want my beloved back. ::pout:: I miss him. I suppose I'm also being a bit hormonally whingey right now.